Oh man what a weird day.....
We headed out to a 5 star hotel to attend a Public Speaking Seminar thanks to some heavy nagging by our pops and as usual we got there early. The hotel was largely empty at that early hour so I had no trouble cooling my nerves while we waited in the lobby, me with my Xperia Z in my hand.
Amazingly though white collars started turning up at the registration desk but thankfully we found our seat next to a guy our age, 17 and after some time was joined by a girl..... A chick.... Okay a hot chick.
Within a few minutes our table was filled with eight, four of us (my sis included) and some older dudes (oh the male to female ratio). We had quite the time breaking the rock solid ice and soon enough we got our chance to speak. And me, having spoken German for so long blurted our some American accented English which provoked the guy I was with to ask if I was a foreigner. Hahaha fuck yeah I was flattered.
At the tea break we did some acquaintancing and by lunch at the quite awkward-nevertheless-classy Arabic Restaurant we ate some salad topped off with sea food and some soul sucking chatter from the girls. Yes we sat opposite to them. Damn I always make a mental note to never stay near my sis but it always ends up that way. I'd rather walk naked in public than hear her "socialize" which basically involves 99% of her own anecdote. Or maybe its just a 'male thing'
Sadly though the chick was no different. Quite the combination. She went off about her weird brother who used to get all the girls n
shit, which sparked my curiosity nonetheless. Oh and did I mention that other guy was all ears on the girls and even joined in (so much for company!), well I did too by correcting their horrible French, it's 'comment tu t'appelle' people!
The poor guy, okay half nerd, half super nerd with apparently lower grades than me wouldn't talk with me and would rather be feminized. Jesus Christ man, how could he withstand nuclear radiation for so long??? I was already choking and probably sick (half by the salad). It there something about the way girls talk that makes all guys on planet earth bored at the first word? Me? I blame it on the pitch. How can someone take someone else with an extremely high pitched voice seriously? No offense but it's the same quality that I find attractive as well, a sense of ambivalence perhaps?
The poor guy tried so hard to impress her.....so hard that I felt sorry for him, watching him put in all that effort. Don't people realize it when they get handed some barbed wire........ for the friendzone. Ahahahaha I could've died laughing my butt off if I hadn't already had thoughts of chasing after her in my quest for temporary satisfaction.
Oh and then there was this mean looking quite ugly guy (why am I hating so much?) and his friend with this iPhone, so I went over there and like a complete idiot started admiring his iPhone. After twirling the damned phone in my hand for quite a while, it just became awkward and yeah, I left, only to catch a glimpse of this mean guy passing a wtf smile. He must've thought I was some weird Australian or smmn especially given what happened at the end, which I will come to.....at the end.
This episode soon followed with depression due to feeling left out of the group.... Again. I mean everyone was making decisions and I had barely said a word. It was obviously my fault that I had nothing to add but I felt bad nevertheless and my usual 'pretend that your are soul-less' method didn't work since I felt too damned self conscious. Made worse only by the fact that the other guy was digging quite the hole in the friendzone. Come to think of it maybe he just wanted to be friends.... Or then again maybe not, since he asked her to text him or Smmn, not like I care anyways, by then I've realised the magic formula :
Shy girls >>>>>
Yeah now try finding a blue eyed blonde haired shy girl.
Moving on
I somehow recovered from this depression with a mammoth effort by brainstorming ideas and communicating. Oh yeah, it was that simple...........yet that hard.
Why the hell is everything a conundrum?
Towards the end there was this weird sexual topic that caused much debate, and got even weirder when one dude, okay oldie, okay oldude started ranting about the million sperms to one egg. Like wtf? (I just hoped he wasn't hinting at the male to female ratio) It was met quite sternly with some just as strange egg comments from a female. And It dosent end there, they managed to cover prostitution, teenage pregnancy and marriage. So basically it doubled as a sex education workshop. Which was fine, since we got the most bang (Ahem!) for our buck.
At the end however we had this raffle draw offering full schols to another one of their (god knows what next time) workshop.... Why on earth would I wanna come again? - Unless they actually practiced sex the next time - so me being me, jotted down a fake name. And would you believe it? It got chosen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The host held up the mic and called for 'Kenny Cutlery'
Oh man I had a field day, going up there and collec........ Being asked to write down my real name. **Australian guy, remember?
Anyways I ended up transferring the award to my fallen brother in the friendzone, excuse my grammar. Ich vergesse english, und ich bin nicht ein German.
Oh and there was also this other girl, who sat on the faaaaaaaaaaar end Table. (again, ratios) I made a note to make eye contact with her just to remind myself how good I was at flirting and at first she played had to get which came off as 'why's that creep staring at me' however much to my surprise after the program ended and when we headed for tea, she was right there waiting for me. Like a magnet, always within my proximity. Maybe it was the coffee but at tea my engines roared to life and I started socializing with the older, well okay, cooler dudes in our group....oh and also mature.
There was this one guy who was down to earth the type that didnt care about his surrounding, perhaps even unaware. He wore glasses and as usual I opened up with his iPhone, which was quite the small thing with the 4.5 inch screen - he said he was loved smaller screens (I was just glad it wasn't a girl who said that....."oh size dosen't matter honey, I love them small anyway") He looked like he was in his thirties but damn this guy was 46. Yeah, that went about with the rest of the other dudes until it was time to say farewell
when I asked the chick
the hot chick
if I could.........
See a pic of his bro,
which unfortunately came out wrong and was immediately met with the dreaded "are you gay?" out loud. Embarrassingly and yet also thankfully she showed me a pic and I realized that his bro wasn't really all that good looking. Fuck me. I felt ashamed by it but brushed it away since my episode of socialising was a success.......depending on whose viewpoint you take.
At the end we met her mother and hugged goodbye with me whispering quite cheesily "I'm not gay okay"
Let me put it this way, it was just plain awkward.
Oh and we also did some singing, moving in circles, laughing, oathing, and oh yeah ironically public speaking.
Now since I don't want this post to revolve around the chick I will now add some dots to take you as far away as possible from my embarrassments
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PS. I would've loved to have taken some pictures of how good I looked but damn the washroom was full
:P
