GCSE OL Video Diary Collection
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Showing posts with label tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tips. Show all posts
Friday, February 13, 2015
Last year I discovered my hair had started receding, and I loathed over how high my confidence would've been if only I had a complete hairline. The year before that I couldn't stand the fact that I was so sunburnt, and the year before that I was too skinny.
Enter : A 19 year old German girl, skinny, 6"1, bucketloads of confidence.
So the mystery was, where does she get her confidence from? And where did I loose mine. To start off with let me ask myself, where did I get my confidence from? as a child its probably when I was surrounded by all my relatives, and they would compliment my cuteness, and i would get most of the attention since I was the youngest of my family. It was that, that inspired me to dream high and raise the bar as to who I wanna be. So I guess that that built my self-esteem from the ground up, and thankfully I had quite a few episodes of bullying at school, I always considered myself good looking even though I didnt really have any solid reason apart from the fact that we started a hip hop group and would make all sorts of music videos, Ahh but then my best friends left, that little group of security was unlocked and and people dispersed. I had to find refuge in another group which was okay but most of the time just infuriating since the only person I hung out with behaved, well, almost like a child and I would find myself in all sorts of uncomfortable situations that never really stopped until school ended. It was never his fault really, it was because there were so few in our class that finding someone like me was impossible at best.
Insecurity chipped away at me day by day and whenever we took family photos id always blame the cameras for looking bad, but then came the German, we took photos with her and I realised it was not the cameras but in fact the fault was with me. It all came crashing down, this castle of false confidence. It was really hard the next few days, went through a turmoil of emotions, posed several times in front of the mirror and what not. But somehow amazingly when it came to talking with girls, maybe flirting I found that there was no confidence lost. I asked myself why that night, and realised it was because I had always considered myself a good flirt and back in school some people called me a player.
So in conclusion, with rock hard evidence I might not look as good you might expect my confidence to drop rock bottom, but miraculously it didnt. Why? Its because its all in the mind, we condition ourselves by how people around us behave, coz whenever I talk to girls Id see them smile and think hey I must be good at this, even if im not. So even if I had my pants split and saw the girl smiling it would quite literally, give me confidence.
As is the case with the German, when I saw pictures of her before she arrived I thought she was a total social reject, I had already judged her like society would. But I was blown away by her confidence, her willingness to participate, explore and how she built her life around her self-esteem, honestly, how many tall girls can you name with low self-esteem who would blame it on nothing else but being too tall? What's more she even crouches a bit, does she mind? Fuck no! Do I? Fuck no, why? Coz she rocks it, yeah confidence is attractive. So what can you do to gain more? Stop blaming the consequences and instead focus on how you react to the consequences, for ex :- stop saying you have a fat nose, long jaws, short hair etc... instead accept it, embrace it, use it, love it, and guess what, others WILL find you attractive!
Enter : A 19 year old German girl, skinny, 6"1, bucketloads of confidence.
So the mystery was, where does she get her confidence from? And where did I loose mine. To start off with let me ask myself, where did I get my confidence from? as a child its probably when I was surrounded by all my relatives, and they would compliment my cuteness, and i would get most of the attention since I was the youngest of my family. It was that, that inspired me to dream high and raise the bar as to who I wanna be. So I guess that that built my self-esteem from the ground up, and thankfully I had quite a few episodes of bullying at school, I always considered myself good looking even though I didnt really have any solid reason apart from the fact that we started a hip hop group and would make all sorts of music videos, Ahh but then my best friends left, that little group of security was unlocked and and people dispersed. I had to find refuge in another group which was okay but most of the time just infuriating since the only person I hung out with behaved, well, almost like a child and I would find myself in all sorts of uncomfortable situations that never really stopped until school ended. It was never his fault really, it was because there were so few in our class that finding someone like me was impossible at best.
Insecurity chipped away at me day by day and whenever we took family photos id always blame the cameras for looking bad, but then came the German, we took photos with her and I realised it was not the cameras but in fact the fault was with me. It all came crashing down, this castle of false confidence. It was really hard the next few days, went through a turmoil of emotions, posed several times in front of the mirror and what not. But somehow amazingly when it came to talking with girls, maybe flirting I found that there was no confidence lost. I asked myself why that night, and realised it was because I had always considered myself a good flirt and back in school some people called me a player.
So in conclusion, with rock hard evidence I might not look as good you might expect my confidence to drop rock bottom, but miraculously it didnt. Why? Its because its all in the mind, we condition ourselves by how people around us behave, coz whenever I talk to girls Id see them smile and think hey I must be good at this, even if im not. So even if I had my pants split and saw the girl smiling it would quite literally, give me confidence.
As is the case with the German, when I saw pictures of her before she arrived I thought she was a total social reject, I had already judged her like society would. But I was blown away by her confidence, her willingness to participate, explore and how she built her life around her self-esteem, honestly, how many tall girls can you name with low self-esteem who would blame it on nothing else but being too tall? What's more she even crouches a bit, does she mind? Fuck no! Do I? Fuck no, why? Coz she rocks it, yeah confidence is attractive. So what can you do to gain more? Stop blaming the consequences and instead focus on how you react to the consequences, for ex :- stop saying you have a fat nose, long jaws, short hair etc... instead accept it, embrace it, use it, love it, and guess what, others WILL find you attractive!
Confidence : How to have More & Where do we get it from
Friday, August 29, 2014
Don't we all just fucking hate noisy neighbors, me, I despise them, Coz
the one thing that always happens to be a constant in the weekends is
the huge bass and whining treble. Don't get me wrong I love the dope
bass and party shit but not when the music being played is the same and
is from another era itself.
Jesus help me! Of course I've
always debated about buying the dude an pair of headphones for Christmas
Hahah but that would never work. The thing I find amazing is that if I
find the music loud from where I live I can't imagine how deaf he must
be to not find it loud from where he lives. Fortunately I've never been
to their house.
Oh and this one time, there was a party
next door at night and somebody found the music unbearable and called
the cops, well that's a long time ago but safe to say lesson not learnt,
I highly doubt it ever will be. And the fucked up part is its early in
the morning too, as if someone set off an alarm.
Well
of course I could call the cops anamously but naaa who wants to be the
dude in project x? Instead I'll just keep on cursing everytime a huge
bass blurts out from the stereo, just not loud enough to be heard by
them. Hahah fat chance they'll hear it!
Noisy Neighbors
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