I'm better and improved now but I know that this is just the beginning there's a long way to go to achieve perfection in my own terms. I just don't know man sometimes, sometimes I dream up these really fancy and weird ideas, like what if by some miracle we bump into each other one day? Given that we currently live world's apart the chances are slim but give that I'm the type of person that would instigate and execute such a plan to make it look accidental it could happen. Then what? She's got a boyfriend or.... Well she would, no doubt but unless she's waiting for me??? Ahhhhhh no chance there as well but the last time we spoke we ended on a high and this time thinking about it I'm low. I mean I imagine, it would be the perfect fairytale if we meet in the future and then by some miracle ended up together, given the long history which intensified and climaxed in such a short amount of time it's hard to imagine what would come of us if we managed to sustain, namely if I can manage some stamina and focus on the long run. Argh this is grown up stuff man, thinking about the future but yet it's hard to feel irrelevant from this sort of thing because perhaps it happens to us all, perhaps many to all young people out there dream about the future. I want her.... For now. I hope that doesn't or does change. It makes me feel desperate but I've got choices, but my mind doesn't open up to let them in. If I focus on that goal now, it would drive me insane coz there's such a long way to go, so all I should do is focus on becoming the best and hopefully the best will become.
