Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Monday, April 20, 2015

*tells her that I will be successful*


So Ashley, tell me....what do those beautiful marble eyes want to be, besides married to a rich, successful guy?
Hahaha, just kidding


Fantasized Pick-Up Lines on a First Date

Sunday, February 22, 2015

I know it's gonna come soon, bang, this September it's gonna hit me before I even know it. These days I constantly use the excuse 'hey I'm just 18' like when I drive the car and other drivers get angry or being in a social or responsible situation such as trying to guide or navigate a new surrounding. But I'm afraid that won't last very long. All these thing do serve as valuable experience and I'm grateful everyday for all the things I have in my life. But, ultimately age is just a number, it doesn't dictate how we look, who we are, or what we're supposed to be.

         I've seen countless people who look both younger and older than their age, I've been with people older than me who act like children and guys younger than me who are more manly than I am. I've been with this girl, who I'm privileged to call my ex, who by the age of 11 attempted suicide, 12 or 13 travelled alone in a flight and back, who was raised by a single mother given that their father was a movie director, oh cliché! But I'm not intimidate by that, it helps me learn, it shapes who I am, I observe all those people closely and pick up bits and pieces.

So, 19, I've still got time, but what is the most important thing I need to achieve in that time I asked myself today, who do I need to be by 19? Well it's simply, given my consequences all I can do is prepare for the future :

Bodybuilding
Learning another language
Improving my personality
Attitude
Looks
Intelligence
Athleticism












I guess if I can keep doing what I'm doing right now I'd tick all the boxes by the time I'm 19, coz in the end, what I really want is no regrets.

Who should I Be? When Im 19

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Had fun at the beach, aw it was awesome, funny thing though, there were a group of guys and they started hitting on the pair, right before I showed up with my abs, well honestly I was nervous of the dudes coz there were a lot of them, mid 20s or 30s I guess and they were much fatter than me as well, so yeah before I was my own pics I thought I was like a stick figure and was nervous that the guys might approach the gals. Haha haha but funny thing, they looked at me and was laughing sheepishly and amazingly back off, and yeah I said fuck it and acted like a wolf, or whoever staring down my prey, well we soon moved further left where all the foreigners were and fitted in quite nicely, I didn't talk with her until well, sis went out to a wash, and we both were laying on the beach, and I said 'Happy Valentines' don't think she heard me so she edged closer and told me all about how there was no Valentines in Germany. 😊😊😊 Ahhh Deutschland!






Then she left the next day, another country to be conquered I guessed and amazingly I did miss her, like what happens after every major event, happens to everybody, we spend so much time, so much effort on that big thing, it comes, its fun and after it ends, the next day you lay there wondering what to do with your life, your purpose and everything.

I didn't expect it to but it happened, another good thing came and went, it's the same dull life for me for six more months. I remember the last time I felt like this, was when I broke up with my ex whom I really really loved, she's so beautiful now, I regret that of course, but like those days, my mind had nothing to think about but her, the same thing happened this time around so yeah it's really saddening. I wondered about her life, her future and stuff like that, I feel like an idiot writing 'maybe we could go on a date someday' on her friendsalert book. Ahh but life, dunno what will 

             Hope she remembers how I busted a nut and told her she was beautiful out of the blue. She gave some letters to sis the last day, she'll never show them to me, I probably don't need her to, I'll see them for myself!

Beach Fun & Heartbreak

Saturday, October 11, 2014


So….went outside….did a hairspray on my hair……put on the bands, rings. Headed straight to Food city n I was very disappointed to find that there were none of her favourite chocolates…….so I texted her and then she said its okay coz she jus wanted to see me. But then I found 3 left (Bueno’s) n bought them along with other chocz that cost me a total of 1 600.  Then I went to the next shop and bought a small gift and a teddy for her.

She came to pizza hut earlier and I was waiting for her somewhere else…..so when she texted me that she was in…I quickly rushed to pizza hut….n there she was on a corner table staring at her fone looking down. So I took the seat and forced a smile….she was soooo shy then that she talked very little and told me to ask her something then she ll answer. So I asked all sorts of questions like do u celebrate xmas, have you bought tickets, what color youre hair….n she replied quite shyly. So I went and ordered a medium sized pizza and 2 fantas (her favourite).
The order took some time to come so we just talked and talked. Occasionally we would each others eyes and smile. Then we started eating and both of us found it very hard and laughed wen I accidently sent a piece flying!
Their dad was home so I thought he ll go by 3.30 but wen 3.30 arrived he was still home. So I asked ______when he s goin. So we had nothing to do so we went out and had an uneasy conversation.
We had no place to go (coz I was planning to go home but dad was home) so we decided to go to food city again but I could see in her face she didn’t like it when ALL  of the bypassers stared at us. So I took her on a 3wheel. We went to foodcity and I asked her to pick something. While she was picking I took a call to anjani and asked her what to do coz her dad was still at home. She suggested walking in the paddy field next to her house. So we both got on a 3wheel and went to the paddyfield. On the 3wheel I gave her presents and she was SOOOO happy!!! We talked along the way and I could feel that she was more comfortable now coz it was near her home territory. And it was her first date.
So while we were on the road ______ (ex) and _____ came in bikes. She got soo scared but me and _____ jus smiled when they passed us. She got so worried then that after that she was like scared of any boy who came in the road. So we had nowhere to go and _____ said her dad was sleeping!!!!! We stayed in the field and it looked like it was gonna rain. Only I had an umberella and she said he liked getting wet…so I told id leave her and ill stay under da umberella. Den she was like we ll share the umberella.

So we walked up and down the paddy field and then ____ came with earphones listenin 2 music and she said that sh ll go home wit her. So we said bye…….and an awkward gesture….like a half committed kiss.. like making that face to kiss when we were like 1 feet away….but I swear the faces came so close…I think we were both embarrassed but I turned…and came….




Plus Heres the actual telephone conv. :-

And A rare video :-


Disaster Date 1st : Almost

Monday, September 1, 2014

Okay first & foremost, i never meant a word i said. I was just mad you stopped replying but oh well now. Never forget ya,

H&K
XOXO

Emily Tourner

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Year Resolution

Cant believe its the year end already. So many changes personally. At the start of the year i was in love and that was basically what propelled my dream forward.....she. And now look at me, better looking, more experienced on love but yet not in love, although i have a girlfriend whos really attached to me. Well it comes as no suprise that some of my best musical shit came at a time when i was heartbroken, in need of love, in need to get back with that special person, reminding me how important she was in my life and how much she meant to me. Honestly im hoping for a transition from Rap n Hip hop to Pop next year but truthfully that looks like a longshot unless i go through another heartbreak. Which seems almost impossible because most of the time its me who breaks hearts (not intentionally) coz most of the time the girl just isnt good enough and pretty soon i get bored of her. Bang. Truthfully though ive only yet 2 angels out of a handfull of girls ive been with but im hoping next year my luck would change. So revolving back to our main topic, my resolutions go something like this 
1. Amazing Voice
2. Super lyricism
3. Fly to another country?
4. Excellent Grades
5. Hottest Bod
6. Few inches taller?
7. Build a fan base
8. Gain respect
9. Night club?
10. Xxx??
11. Richer
12. Motivated

Honestly though looking back on the years it seems like every year after my 15th birthday, ive gone through some very rapid changes, i mean cmon 4 years ago i was a shy nerd who nobody knew about. Now at least everywhere i go most people know me, so my resolutions arent that far honestly, if No.3 comes through, the rest is easy pickings. One things for sure though, ive gotta work hard to achieve all these things it dont come easy. So now ill leave you with 2 comparison pics of me from last year and this year. Feel free to send me your resolutions as well

Now :-
 Then :-
And 1 More :- 



Year End Comparisons, New Year Resolutions

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

HAVE A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Party Hard, Stay Safe
















MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

Sunday, December 22, 2013


November 20th, 2012

When did I send my first email? Yes it was somewhere in September 2011, Binura was about to go to Singapore and I told him that i wanted a girlfriend, we laughed over it but when he came back, it was a rainy, gloomy, day, we (Me, Binura, Shavinda) were on duty writing manes of the latecomers, when he said 'I found one', and endless series of questions followed as I tried to create a mental picture of this girl. That same day, I got the email address and sent an email which also included our band MSC. The reply came back soon enough, 'Who are you? What do you want?' Turns out she was very insecure when it comes to 'socialising' with strangers over the internet, but enter Binura - To the rescue - after a good chat with her, he cleared out things and I got a reply soon enough saying, "In get it, Binura made you fall in love with me, im interested, i wanna know more about you" which as I remember was sent exactly the time I logged on at 3.45pm exactly, so I immediately replied, "Are you online?" no reply and this was the case for the several months that followed. When Binura went to Singapore once again, I strictly asked him to 'Go to her house,' instead during that period, he posted on Facebook that, ' Sarah Emily Karis Tourner' was missing. When he finally returned, he reported that she wasn't in her usual home, it was closed and the house was empty and continued telling us more storied about her father and mother. Still no reply, so during the January of 2012, on Valentines day, i recoreded a video with the title, 'Happy Valentines Day Emily Tourner' and i sent that email to her on 23rd using the computer lab in our school because i thought i lost her forever. So after that mail I checked my mail for a reply consistently for a few days and then the next 3 months, i rarely logged on using that mail address because i changed the address. On April, I think, I started to mail this former Sri Lankan national player who is currently in a College in USA, and so during that period I used my old email address. And one day after we travelled to our cousin's house, i checked the mail and bang, there it was, the reply from Emily Tourner, how old? O yeah, she had replied two days after Valentine's. So i immediately switched back to my new account and replied back as if i was Binura, because by that time, she had already called me a 'geek' last year. She explained how she had moved from Singapore to New York City, because her dad's 'got something there' and when i replied in a worried state, like, 'Are you okay, Tell me ur okay' The reply came soon enough, 'What do you think? Im dead? tell this to your love-sick friend.
Enter - Dan 
'There's this boy in my class, should I go at him, i know that friend of your's (me) dosent sound much different, dunno, i need a boyfriend though, waited too long.' this shocked me to the very core, so i replied with nearly 10 proven reasons why it should be me and not this boy, but unfortunately in her next mail, she'd already asked Dan and he, 'wasn't very happy and so i turn to you' So by this time, my IGCSE's were nearing and I told Binura all this stuff and even though i advised him not to, what did he do? He concealed my mask, i thought it was all over and was about to get real mad at Binura, when she replied saying, 'you no need to be in disguise' and guess what, (thumbs up Binura) things worked out well, very well, in fact after that chat with Binura, she sent an actual love letter! LOL i guess when it comes to people who dosen't spend much time on the net, no fb acc, no twitter, just an email address and spends most of the time in real life, they can be very insecure when it comes to strangers contacting them, but once that fear is eradicated and they learn to trust, they do that whole-heartedly and openly without cheating. That is Emily Tourner right there, 1 account, 1 love, and that is why I love this girl. So after that i followed up by replying to her how much i love her and how i met her and how Binura went to Singapore, and she replied saying cute or sweet, cannot recall correctly, but anyway after another chat with Binura, the attention shifted to Tyra, whom Binura boasted was her girlfriend, so she was like, who's this Tyra and when I told her the actual story of how we met her in C.I.S during a basketball tournament, she replied saying, 'Get that guy a girl, he must be lonely' huh easier said than done, especially considering the fact that Binura actually frowned at Tyra when she looked at him.
Then things went downhill 
She sent an email at about 4pm (very weird) to Binura and he described it to me as her being 'raped' but soon he forwarded the mail and I found out for myself, It was Dan, he'd come back the next day telling her that he's interested and she'd said that it was too late but Dan actually grabbed hold of her and forced a kiss from her (firs kiss!!!!! LOL imma kill you Dan). Anyway she described it being as the most horrible experience ever and she 'somehow managed to break free and run away'. She had also stated that others saw this and beat him up and he was eventually expelled, nice. 'Pls dont mention any of this to Sachira, I dont want him to be a murderer' Too bad i got the forwarded mail late, of it could've actually happened. Next Tyra was the hot topic, so I kept on and on about her, all the while Binura chatted with her and I only got emails with 1 week gaps! How unfortunate was I? I never got to chat with her. The subject from her next mail made me loose it, - You're ditched!!!!!! - but the inside was pretty monatanous. It went like 'he said Tyra was his girlfriend? and me being the most beautiful, you haven't even seen me, anyway nice though'. The most beautiful was sent by me in an earlier message where I told her, ' don't ask how beautiful Tyra is, no one in the world right now is more beautiful than you. I was hopig to catch her online that day at 8pm ut when I logged on at 7.30pm, she had already replied and that one message made me loose it. And i got so pissed that I asked Binura what all of this was about, "and he told me that she said ti was just a joke (love joke). At the moment it seemed the least bit funny so i got even pissed and thanks to Binura again, I calmed down and  sent a mail back asking why I was diteched. Well next our IGCSE's started and the reply came 2 or 3 weeks later in the middle of our exams, 'U donwanna fail bcoz of me, dude fir urselves, u guyz are so volatile, prob u didn understand it, even binura got mad when i teased him, anyway howz exams? keep studying, reply soon". It was snet at 6.30pm after an exams, so when I got home at 8pm i was very suprised and replied the very next day.
Then came the second drought 
I don't know why, but one night I thought so much about her, too much, far, far into the future that i thought i'd never get to her and went through a huge depression era, the bad thing was, the next day, I had an exam, so somehow pushed her out of my mind and managed to concentrate, it was so horrible that i just flet like doing nothing and lying in bed all day, but to tell you how strong I was, I recovered within a period of 6 hours without anybody's help, I bet no one even noticed the change. 6 weeks, 1 half months went by, no reply made a new music video, emailed her the video, along with pictures of Tyra I recently found on FB, so Binura left for Singapore and after nearly 3 weeks, he told that someone was living in Emily's former house, he'd gone there with his family, 2 hour drive and sneaked out to see the house, then a pretty girl, like Emily came out, he'd asked her about Emily and she told him that she hasn't replied to her as well and that she must be having an exam or doing a course, this was probbably her cousin, whom Binura described being as beautiful and charming as her. Funny things was just how luck turns out, I recently asked my friend (who was visiting NY) to check if she was there, in the address she gave me but she came back emptyhanded, reporting that they got lost in NY and the GPS went crazy! Guess it's all up to fate then, maybe oneday...And from that day since, August 2012, ive never heard from her, not even after Superstorm Sandy....    

Emily Tourner

Saturday, November 30, 2013



 

Day 3 : The Love Loop

Thursday, November 28, 2013



 

Day 2 : Video Shoot : The Love Loop

Wednesday, November 27, 2013


 

Video Shoot : The Love Loop

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Tomorrow, video shoot for 'The Love Loop' 


Scene : The Love Loop

Thursday, November 14, 2013

If funny how fast things change, one moment you're single (okay for nearly 6 months) and the next you've got like 4, 5 chicks behind you, just goes to show how fast things change, and sometimes its just a little too much, its fun, yeah ofcourse but then again it brings on the dilema of pushing the wrong choice or not knowing what to do. Well, thats where im at right now!

Sometimes its just a little too much

Sunday, October 6, 2013

My life's a completed checklist, yeah but when it comes to girls, it too damn stereotypical. It always ends the same. Let me take you through the process, point wise

1. Meet & get accquainted
2. Add on FB
3. Long chats
4. Get to know each other
5. Liking each others pics
6. Fool into falling in love
7. Declaration of love
8. High
9. Bored
10. Does something new, totally uncalled for and creates a problem
11. Hate and anger
12. Breakup
13. Strangers


Oh damn its always the same thing! Too damn tired to keep repeating history but oh well. Please do note that inspiration came to me today when i called my last girl a slut and bitch for decieving me and her ex, just to prove a point....

It Always Ends the Same Way.

Saturday, August 24, 2013


Its probably a waste of time, but I still think about her, most of the time. I just let my mind wander off and next thing you know im in the past with her. I miss her sooo damn much now but I have to accept the fact that she moved on, actually moved back, with her ex. Why you might wonder she chose the frog over me even though she knew the last time she was with him he was cheating on her, well simply put its confusing to be her, shes still young, just turned 14 and been through a lot in her life, from seeing her parents divorce to trying to kill herself because she thought no one ever loved her. She even had to make the big choices like for example when she had to leave to russia again with her sis and mom, she couldn't bear the culture even though she was very much russian, she wanted to come back here and voila, at age 13 she flew on a plane, alone back here.

We broke up at the time therefore I didnt even know she landed her because the task was nearly impossible. But that day, she switched on the old mobile phone and a message I had sent about 6 months back got delivered to her phone, keep in mind I used my dads phone to send the message, it read 'buddy you're a star' she stayed at her best friends house that day and asked her to call the number because as usual she was too shy to talk on the phone,  even with me. Now imagine how she got on that plane alone.

So she called my dad and he asked me, I said no amd then later I immediately recognised the number, I was dumbfounded. I started texting even though I debated on not doing so for a some time.

We had exams, therefore we got study leave from school and in the first few days she started texting me like when are you coming back to school and that she would stay afterschool to meet me.and stuff but eventually it was nearly 3 months later that I returned to school and by that time she had already switched between nearly three guys and grown up quite a lot. She was all like, 'i feel so sexy, i feel like kissing my guy right now' people do change and i just had to accpet that.

And soon after the girl her ex used to cheat on left the school and she got back together with him coz as she put it, he was 'like a diamond in the rough' urrrh the frog. So by the time i went back to school, she was already back together with him and their relationship had grown a lot. But the day i came school, she started texting me like 'wow youre so white now, like wow you stand out! *_* ' and i told her that i couldn't do this anymore and she was like what and i was like stop flirting.

Well judging by her facebook statuses that was my window of opportunity to get back with her but i didnt want to at the time. And the day i came back put her in a position where she started to question her relationship with the frog. But eventually she thought it was foolish and we became 'friends' with on and off texting through the month.

Then i decided i wanted to get back with her and at our annual swimming meet i had two days to make my point. The first day i talked with her on the phone for a looong time during the meet, we were literally two classrooms apart! Anyways i bonded so much with her over one day that i planned for a grand comeback the next day, by kissing her. I couldnt sleep that night as i went over the perfect plan over and over again rehearsing each and every move, each and every word. but as is usually the case, most dreams never come true and mine just didnt work out, because the day after was totally different. See my plan was to give her the Nicki Minaj album i bought since she was such a Nicki Minaj fan along with and SD Card with songs. I planned to corner her in a classroom, then bring her close and tell her 'wow your eyes just sparkle, youre so gorgeous now and its been such a long time since we were this close' but the day got stretched out and i barely had time to slip the CD through in public onto her bag, and the very next minute i realised what her bf gave that i couldnt give, it all hit me with an iron fist, he was more socially active, he used to party, he was worry free, and he was okay with other guys flirting with her and stuff. I felt so ashamed of myself i went home and immediately texted her, ' i cant do this anymore, im falling for you over again, coz i said no strings attached but still got tied up in that' and it was all over, that was the last day i ever talked to her and its been nearly a month and half now.

These days its a totally different story, i went the movies last week and i got more evidence of why she chose the frog over me, he used to take her all these movies in the heart of the city where all the ' cool' people hangout. And i was too busy myself at home producing my album i probbably didnt have time to do any of that and being quite an introvert and not having a good enough excuse to travel that far from my parents, i knew my time was up and i could not give to her what he gives, at least for the moment. But the thing she dosent understand is the what i do now will make sure that i have a brighter future whereas the frog who slacks might end up in the pond. Theres a whole lot more,

To Be Continued...........

Remember the Times

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

swag loading 100% album release d'swaggas tumblr teen swag swag hot guy music hip hop loading 100%




August 14 - Swag Loading 100%

Confession Night
______________

I think I accidentally killed my conscious in a plane last year man my lyrics were in sleep mode

Even probbably had my mind jacked off like inception in a dream though

But now its 14 in a summers day
the day's gone as the night weighs

the path that I chose 
the lyrucs that I wrote 
resonable doubts and the memory labes that got clogged

questionable decisions I take it all back and try and put my pillow underneath fore I fall back

wrong choices that came off coz I was blinded by these tall stacks

had my own niggas banging at the door claiming they were all blacks

penicillin in my room
concealing all these wounds
and the girl you fking hate you
while your fans are like we made you
please lemme just fall back to my bed
and try and conceal these troubled thoughts in my head

13 I was hiding behind a pair of shades
14 I was hot but I got never laid
15 reborn while on my girl's bed
16 the stormy breakup fore we went dead

17 in a turn
the ladies that I earned
the lessons that I learned
the fires that re-burned

yeahhh I thought it was all well and good

damn its been a long time since shorty wrote his lyrics on his own time
the cascades the doors and the marble floors are all dying
as far as I can see, since he left its been a long time
yet I still carry the weight of the guilt like it was my crime

a nickel and a dime its been so hard lately
bending backwards for that one spouse
and she still claims I aint bending enough coz she thinks maybe I got more doubts
wow!

the breakup blues got me drinking booze again
damn I swear its not even worth for this insaneeeee bitch
hit up the chrome and be like nothing was the same
and say americaa we madeeee it

-------------------
clock ticks 12 flooding memories of our first kiss
new year's eve the rush of adrenaline ahhh I so badly miss
glance down at the apple, no call not even a text shit
sinking feeling of forever alone hits clad with an iron fist

oh well I guess you loose some and win some

like the fairytale love that didnt happen coz there weren't one
like all those perfect girls I met but was cursed never to hold on
like this russian girl who said she had to leave but it had been fun
like my second closest mate who eyed my girl fore they fked once

ahhh it was all donee

to be honest I confess I never loved my first girl
for her it was me whereas my perspective was a wide world
switch up the genders same story and viola this russian girl
years later gave up all hopes on that one pearl
coz her hormones had just flooded 
plus her teenage mind was a twirl world

crazier still this aussie girl who never existed,  never had a face
emily tourner a girl quite biased to her religion and race
yet I never lost faith
even when her papa scored this job on the states
funny how words can be deceiving 
make you feel like you're the best
but underneath its all just evil
when you learn its just another stupid test

the weight don't feel no lighter even though I went all out
all my exes like the rest man I swear I just hateee it
and all the screaming at the clubs translated to a sore mouth
and ended up loosing every girl that I cameee with

--------------------------


Confession Night

 
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