German Girl

Okay so not the dream hot chick I so desperately seek but nevertheless a well chick type girl walked into the cafeteria at Goethe today along with some of her friends and naturally being surrounded by locals further heightens the effect. She'll do was what I thought then.

So it was our A2 exams today and naturally I had a clean cut hairstyle and was well groomed. Strangely enough I met this cool C2 guy I always say in classes but never spoke in the bathroom. Much to my disappointment he was too friendly and his coolness just evaporated while I took a pee. He left with a aufwiederhoren that got me saying 'what ah ya' symbolic of my natural English instinct. That instagram even the main story no, not even the fact that one of the girls were so seductively dressed. No not even that.

I convinced this hot chick okay chick I saw was compelled my my image to put some effort into her own one. Namely we held eye contact for around sometime and soon enough her hands were on her loose hair pushing to tie it into a neat bun. That's when I told her that she would do. And she would do. Coz I meant something to her. Wow prince of corny Island. BP I could learn German better from someone like her.....

German Girl

8:30 PM a2, blog, deutschland, exams, german girl, girl, goethe, language, learning, mates

Feelings

Isn't it amazing how much of our confidence is built on either one or two things. The same things or people that made you feel high can make you hit rock bottom. 

What can I do?
 Wie kann ich verbessern?

Why do I feel this way like everything in my life was and is a lie the same things that helped me through are now my demons

No purpose. So uninspired

How can confidence be so volatile

Aber ich kann Deutsch sehr gut sprechen und verstehen so dass ist ein großes pluss

Gute Musik

How to feel less self conscious?

Ich wird immer eine Jacke anziehen eben ob es out of Mode geht

Feelings

11:35 PM berlin, blessings, blog, confidence, curse, demons, feelings, german, germany, life, rock bottom, self conscious, uninspired

Define Me, Destroy Me or Strengthen Me

I can let this define me, destroy me or strengthen me.

   The minutes tick slow, the people crowd in, 
my nerves ease up. For a while. 9:30 - there's been a slight delay, we begin at 9:35. I've never done a Cambridge exam and the paper format catches me off guard. I start chewing my gum, faster but eventually it fades into the background. I raise my hand, I don't know how to fill the 'component title' but the invigilator takes too much time, she's at the other end, so instead I peek opposite, a girl in a short skirt. 9:40, I've gotten off to an explosive start, I notice that part B in the first question is different from the previous ones. So I decide to do it at the end.

Wrong move.

Rhythmically my eyes take in the time

from the monstrous, green, blinking eyes in front of me. Ah my nemesis, or my saviour? I finish 80% of the paper in less than an hour. Yet my mind is clouded. I try to work out how much time I should spend on the rest. The clouds grow thicker. All routine gone. I breakdown. Panic. I finish the paper in the nick of time 9:48. 2 minutes to spare.

  But what good is finishing a paper if all you
wrote was gibberish? If you forgot to mention obvious key points? If you saw them later yet had neither the space nor the time to make amends? Truth is, it's a matter of shutting my eyes and spacing out from the world, literally.

   It's 9:00 the day before, having recognized
the importance of sleep before an exam I go
to bed early.

Wrong move.

My mind initially wanders into the prehistoric
age in 'A Space Odyssey 2001' then to a horror story, I nearly fall asleep.... Nearly. It's 12:00, after three hours of restlessness I figure out a neat trick, count backwards from 99 and reset when I hit the lower numbers. It works. But I wake up at 5:00. No turning back now.

My face is disfigured In the morning, an event
that is minisculed by my shocking malfunction. It has happened before and my no means is this the worst one. Twice I felt that I would end up with 0, Physics and Chemistry, twice I ended up with A's.

   I feel sleepy, even now, but the truth is........

I can let this define me, destroy me or strengthen me.

Define Me, Destroy Me or Strengthen Me

8:55 PM 9093, a levels, blog, cambridge, edexcel, english language, exam stress, gce, how to, igcse, o levels, passages, sleep, stress, study, writing

Fantasized Pick-Up Lines on a First Date

*tells her that I will be successful*


So Ashley, tell me....what do those beautiful marble eyes want to be, besides married to a rich, successful guy?
Hahaha, just kidding

Fantasized Pick-Up Lines on a First Date

12:16 AM blog, clever pick up lines, dating, first date, girl, hook her, love, online dating, pick up lines, smooth, tinder

Miracle Love Story (Hello Russians!)

Do girls like Italian guys? I could pretend to be, could very well live in Italy but their economy is taking tumble and besides I don't know Italian. There's this bigger picture which includes my ex. Saw her in a dream and can't get her out of my head. Last time we saw each other I had so much flaws.... So much.

 I'm better and improved now but I know that this is just the beginning there's a long way to go to achieve perfection in my own terms. I just don't know man sometimes, sometimes I dream up these really fancy and weird ideas, like what if by some miracle we bump into each other one day? Given that we currently live world's apart the chances are slim but give that I'm the type of person that would instigate and execute such a plan to make it look accidental it could happen. Then what? She's got a boyfriend or.... Well she would, no doubt but unless she's waiting for me??? Ahhhhhh no chance there as well but the last time we spoke we ended on a high and this time thinking about it I'm low. I mean I imagine, it would be the perfect fairytale if we meet in the future and then by some miracle ended up together, given the long history which intensified and climaxed in such a short amount of time it's hard to imagine what would come of us if we managed to sustain, namely if I can manage some stamina and focus on the long run. Argh this is grown up stuff man, thinking about the future but yet it's hard to feel irrelevant from this sort of thing because perhaps it happens to us all, perhaps many to all young people out there dream about the future. I want her.... For now. I hope that doesn't or does change. It makes me feel desperate but I've got choices, but my mind doesn't open up to let them in. If I focus on that goal now, it would drive me insane coz there's such a long way to go, so all I should do is focus on becoming the best and hopefully the best will become.

Miracle Love Story (Hello Russians!)

7:12 PM blog, boyfriend, chance, coincidence, dating advice, ex, fate, girlfriend, guys, italian, life, love story, miracle, modern, moscow, romance, russia, russian hot girls, russian love, women russia

Who should I Be? When Im 19

I know it's gonna come soon, bang, this September it's gonna hit me before I even know it. These days I constantly use the excuse 'hey I'm just 18' like when I drive the car and other drivers get angry or being in a social or responsible situation such as trying to guide or navigate a new surrounding. But I'm afraid that won't last very long. All these thing do serve as valuable experience and I'm grateful everyday for all the things I have in my life. But, ultimately age is just a number, it doesn't dictate how we look, who we are, or what we're supposed to be.

         I've seen countless people who look both younger and older than their age, I've been with people older than me who act like children and guys younger than me who are more manly than I am. I've been with this girl, who I'm privileged to call my ex, who by the age of 11 attempted suicide, 12 or 13 travelled alone in a flight and back, who was raised by a single mother given that their father was a movie director, oh cliché! But I'm not intimidate by that, it helps me learn, it shapes who I am, I observe all those people closely and pick up bits and pieces.

So, 19, I've still got time, but what is the most important thing I need to achieve in that time I asked myself today, who do I need to be by 19? Well it's simply, given my consequences all I can do is prepare for the future :

Bodybuilding
Learning another language
Improving my personality
Attitude
Looks
Intelligence
Athleticism

I guess if I can keep doing what I'm doing right now I'd tick all the boxes by the time I'm 19, coz in the end, what I really want is no regrets.

Who should I Be? When Im 19

6:18 PM birthday, blog, countries, dreams, experiences, girls, guy, love, personality, photography, places, resolutions, swag, teen, travel, what is my purpose, who am i, who do i want to be

Habits : How we pick them up

Man, it's been only two weeks and she's already influenced my behaviour. Like a monkey all I did was stare at her, why? Coz I'm allowed to, she's a German and all Germans do is stare at other people haha.
But getting back to the point, I honestly do think that she's got one of the best personalities in the world, i mean literally. She would go out of her way to thank people for things that they do to help her, and she would get anxious when someone gives her a present because she's 'not used to getting things' amazing huh?

Her attitude clearly rubbed off on me, and it's a good thing I'm willing to change, 18 and I still don't have a concrete personality, in fact I don't want one, I want to constantly evolve, improve myself and just get better day by day.

Yesterday I was at German class returning after nearly two weeks, I barely knew the guys there. During recess we went out to the cafeteria and started talking, I joined them quite late, so this guy had ordered three drinks and motioned for three more, I absolutely wasn't expecting him to buy me one as well, but naturally he did. I mean I barely knew the guy, so everyone got their drinks and started sipping and I did something I have never done before.

I went out of my way, raised my glass to him and said Thank You, quite honestly if it wasn't for Jewels I wouldn't have even bothered, I would've just sipped my drink silently as well, but I'm glad I did coz guess what it not only made me feel better but I'm guessing it made him too.

Meeting people like Jewels happens once in a lifetime I guess, a complete role model, I just wanted to be her, imitate her like a kid, I mean that's what kids do, they learn by looking at their role models, imitate them, take bits and pieces from here and there. But all this only happens if you're willing to change.

Habits : How we pick them up

6:30 PM bad, behavior, better, blog, change attitude, children, develop, good habits, habits, how to, imitate, kids, learn, monkeys, people, personality, role model